May 2012
18 posts
WatchThe amount of happy I am right now is hard to describe. Will & Natalie being in this makes me giddy inside!!!
I’m so scared I’m never going to live abroad again. All traveling I’ve done in my life has led up to this point: Costa Rica, Italy, India, the Galapagos, Ecuador…has all been leading up to this. Each an experience that has brought me here, to living abroad for half a year of my life.
Leaving France is horridly bittersweet. Maybe even the most bittersweet feeling...
A girl Anna who I just in the past couple of weeks have known, posted this in her blog. It is amazingly well written first of all, but more importantly it does the task of summarizing my experience here better than anything I could ever attempt to write. So Santé, Grenoble. Santé France. Santé to the next chapter in my life.
“How do I describe, exactly, how life here is? I can give you...
“I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day! I spoke with Lisa intermittently and she was very reminiscent of the past. Growing up you two may not have always seen eye to eye, but at the end of the day, she adores you and is thankful for everything you have sacrificed for her. Now, if she can be half the mother, and hero, you have been for her, I think she will be able to comfortably rest...
Culture Shock
My roommate Sabreen and her friend Mariana went to Paris for the weekend. They’re traumatized, quite frankly. They described in awestruck and slightly terrified tones their weekend—full of gays and beggars and brashness and what Mariana described as “you call that fashion?!” It’s kind of adorable, listening to their complete and total dumbfounded-ness. Neither one of...
NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH
I HAAAAAAVE A BOOOOOOYFRIEEEEEEND
Realizations
In the past I’ve had a hard time figuring out how to deal with Rusty and I’s emotions. It’s one thing to gauge how someone reacts to things, it’s an entirely different thing to put that person’s reactions with yours and adapt to make them compatible.
Rusty and I are both extremely emotional people, and we deal with our emotions in shockingly similar ways. We shut...
I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t do anything, except pray and pray that my life isn’t over.
But I think it is. I’m terrified. I’m so so scared. All I want is to be home in his arms.
And I thought everything was going so perfectly, too.
I have ruined my own life.
Wut
the hell is happening in Texas. The following people have contacted me with the following information:
Daxon: “hey i need to talk to you now. hopefully when i wake. thanks.”
Amanda: “Laura is literally the shittiest friend ever. We hate her now. Just to catch you up.”
And only God knows whether Rusty is alive or not…
it’s really nice when that little voice kicks in and tells your mind to shut the hell up.
WatchHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
sillyjews:
THIS VIDEO OMG I LOVE IT SO MUCH
It’s frustrating not being able to read you. Especially because you think I can so well.
April 2012
22 posts
“Clear mind. Full heart.”
– Trusty
Ups
The past week or so has been full of promise. I feel healthy. We feel healthy. I’m coming to the realization that this time might be incredibly good for us. I know what I want (still him…obviously) but I know what I expect, too. I know what he wants and what he expects. The amount of learning I’m doing is incredible. I feel so connected and in sync with him.
That being said, I...
Reconsider →
I need to go home. To my home, which is you. Back home so we can fix this.
“I couldn’t imagine not being able to talk to you or seeing you when you...”
– Thank you, God. Thank you.
One of my little swimmers messaged me through her sister’s facebook account with this after she found out I wasn’t coming back to coach this summer:
I’ve been looking forward to see you all year and have been thinking about you all during the Starr test thinking its one test closer to seeing you this swim year hopefully with love -Em
Today my nightmares traded themselves in for daymares. Woke up earlier than usual, and have felt nauseous ever since. I almost prefer the nightmares, really. The daymares are much worse—dreaming about reunions that will never happen, imagining these sick fantasies about us living happily ever after in DC, Houston, Singapore. Him running back to me saying “This was such a mistake,...
The Things We Said Today →
Came on my shuffle today. Hours and hours ago, and I changed it as quickly as I could.
And here I am now, crying on my bed 10 hours later about it.
“Nous ne chercherons pas entre les lignes où le cœur a battu, où on a...”
–
Un Nègre à Paris, Barnard B. Dadié
I’d be doing fairly well all things considered, if it weren’t for waking up at 7:30 every day since the only boy I’ve ever felt a genuine connection with chose short term pleasure over me, and the brutal, viciously heartbreaking dreams I have once I fall back asleep.
It’s odd, truly. During the day I feel sad, yes, but so far I’ve been good. Removing expectations....
Mother knows best
Talking to your momma is the single best thing ever. Clear head on straight shoulders.
we didn’t even make it to number three on the timeline
Just went on a decorating spree. It was therapeutic as fuuuuuck.
March 2012
10 posts
Falling apart in Grenoble without the boyfriend.
Compliments
Last night Alan told me I’m the only blonde he’s ever met who hasn’t fulfilled the “dumb blonde” stereotype. “I’ve never met a chick who just spews so much politics and history before.”
Compliments usually bother me, but I am so flattered.
