the boyfriend’s been changing up his fb novel’s writing style and has started writing them drunk. Let me just say that it’s fucking hilarious.

A recent excerpt: 

“Wow, Scott and I met a lot of important people in our company tonight and many of them came from overseas. I ended up getting really trashed like normal only because we decided not to eat beforehand. After meeting with them, life is looking great. My career is all about who you know, and not what you know. AND It’s sooooo fucking true. It was Scott and I…. and the next person was like 69+. It was a little intimidating. So what did Rusty do? Get hammered!!! This is why I need my pretty looking girlfriend to save the day!! What the fuuuuck, wtfffff!!!! Haha, I’m just a kidding. No matter what I do, I want you there with me. These perverted old men are fun and all. But when I go overseas I want someone there to grow with… that person is YOU!!! I want us to go abroad, and GROW! It’s one thing to go abroad and feel empty with a different woman every night, but I feel like you and I would be on a whole different level. I don’t want to sleep around. That’s boring. YOU AND I KNOW THIS ALREADY!!! We’ve talked about it. I’m completely content with yooooou. (Only cause you’re amazing it bed. Okay, lets be honest, you’re a fucking 10 out of 10. There’s no more up from here).

You are on a completely different level!!! I loooooove it. Wait, I looooooove you!!!! Maybe that has something to do with it. . ”