A couple of thoughts on religion that’ve been pestering my mind:

1. Today is Ash Wednesday, one of my favorite liturgical days of the year, the other being Good Friday. It is not coincidence that these two days bookend Lent, nor that they are both days of fasting and contemplation. The “fasting” business I’m not so good at, but I love contemplating my religion and it’s complicated influences on my life. Lent is my favorite time of year (religiously that is) for a variety of different reasons: I love a good challenge, I love proving to other people I can do things they don’t believe I can do, and I love feeling weak and knowing it’s all just a test. I dunno, I’m into that kind of shit. Summed up nicely in Mass today- Lent is a time to “remember who you are and whose you are.”

Ash Wednesday also contains my favorite gospel. I don’t know what book it’s from and honestly I don’t really care; it’s the gospel about hypocrisy and practicing your faith in secret because the Father sees in secret….you know, that one. I couldn’t agree more. I wish everyone was required to read and memorize one section, because it pretty much describes all my thoughts on religion ever. 

This also transitions nicely into my second thought:

My current biggest pet peeve at the moment is Jesus Freaks. I am SURROUNDED by them. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jesus with all my heart etc. etc. but I don’t give a fuck about hearing all the time about how much you love Jesus. I also don’t care and am DEFINITELY not interesting in overhearing your conversations about it. I’ve been going to this one coffee shop recently (it’s awesome, don’t get me wrong. It’s got mugs hung on basically every surface surrounding the bar and it’s totes presh) and I was super obsessed with it until I realized that 80% of the people who regularly come here (I’m including myself in the ‘regulars’ because I want to feel included, duh) only ever talk about Jesus. Seriously. That’s all they talk about. I was eavesdropping earlier (so sue me I was bored) and this chick was literally giving advice to this guy by saying “I know that if He wants the relationship to work it will” or some other bs, and then followed that up by describing a Bible verse she has recently read that had “OMG CHANGED HER LIFE HOW HAD SHE NEVER READ IT BEFORE.” And then I shot myself. JK, but I wanted to whip out the Bible I don’t carry with me and show her the passage from Mass today.

BITCH STFU PRACTICE YOUR FAITH IN SECRET I’M NOT INTERESTED IN HEARING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s getting ridiculous. Does talking about Jesus all the time make you a better person? Because I thought being a good person was about acting like Jesus, not talking about how much you read the Bible. 

Another drawback: most of the dudes in these groups of friends are super hot and you KNOW they’re not virgins. Hypocritical, I think yes. Don’t preach about it and then not follow through, bro. Am I bitter because I don’t have a chance with them? Probably. But then I realize that Catholics 1) love to fuck 2) make up most of the world’s Christians and 3) are rockstarz (loljk) and lotz of hotties go to St. Mary’s. Then I am less bitter. 

This all probably makes me look like an awful, awful person but a girl’s gotta vent every once in a while. I practice my faith quietly. As my mother’s favorite church song goes, “and they’ll know we are Christians by our love, not by our excessive Jesus t-shirts and memorized Bible verses”….or something like that.