I overheard some girls today discussing their “dream men.” I haven’t actually thought about this in a while and though this list is just an excuse to find flaws in every man I meet and inevitably the reason I will end up alone, I don’t want to do my english project. Sooo here goes.

My dream guy:

1. Is comfortable with the fact that I’m going to call him “dude”

2. Tells me when I’m being fucking stupid.

3. Puts up with my constant mood swings; accepts that I’m a whiny bitch when I don’t get my way. (Mainly the source of said mood swings.)

4. Likes bar-b-que. 

5. Is physically bigger than I am.

6. Has calluses on his hands, but no dirt under his fingernails.

7. Wears clothes I like, which I’m going to split into three categories:
-billabong, long shorts, flip-flops
-vans, awkward socks, band shirts
-jeans and boots. So sexy.  

8. Is active and in shape. I won’t say “athletic” because who defines what athleticism is anyway? 

9. Is book-smart, street-smart, party-smart and knows what Transcendentalism is for the love of God. 

10. Is capable of communicating because I’m not fucking going to.

11. ‘s hair has some character. The girls love the curls.

To summarize: I want a Texas boy who likes water sports, will teach me how to two-step every time we go dancing because I’m going to forget, listens to good music, and is open minded. Too much to ask for? Obviously. But a girl can dream can’t she?